The NLP Communication Model - Joseph Clough NLP Trainings
The NLP Communication Model is a model that ultimately says that whatever we perceive to be true is true. Is how our consciosun and unconscious mind takes in information into our neurology through our five sense (Auditory – Hearing, Visual – Sight, Kinsthetic – Touch, Gustatory – Taste and Olfactory – Smell). Through the information our brain receives through our five sense will affects our behavior,
Its said that the brain takes in around two million bits of information at any one moment. Our conscious mind however, is only able take in approximately 7 bits of information during this same time period. Its why we can find it hard to remember a list of over 7 things.
But here’s the thing, in order to compensate for this vast difference (two million down to seven) the unconscious mind will filter the events our senses take in by deleting, distorting and generalizing the information through our language, memories, attitudes, values, beliefs, decisions, etc.
We then make an internal representation of the world we are taking in, with pictures, sounds and feeling. That puts us in a state of mind, which can change our physiology that affects our behavior. All this happens in a fraction of a second and none of it has to happen in any particular order. We are in a constant state of flux, where our physiology can affect our attitudes just as easily as our behavior can affect our language.
So lets break it down a little:
It Deletes any information being received externally that our unconscious mind can’t make sense of and our filters (explained below).
It Distorts information in accordance to our filters.
It also Generalizes in accordance to our filters.
So it will delete/distort/generalize in accordance to out internal Filters which make up our:
Beliefs & Values
So lets take our Languages shall we. Well our language gives us meaning or labels on the reality we see around us. Everything you see right now you have already have a label for. You see a chair, but if you didn’t have a label for it it would just be a nameless object a ‘thing’.
By language I also mean our words, our symbols such as letters and words, road signs, tonality and gestures. People who are bilingual (ability to talk two languages fluently), will have a different experience talking in one language than in another. Sound odd doesn’t it? The different language has a different culture and perception attached to it. For example, a friend of mine who is bilingual in Arabic and English, if he was told “You Son of a Bitch” by someone in English it would not mean that much to him. It would be personally but not that personal, however in Arabic it would be the worst thing that could possibly be said to him.
Because in Arabic culture being called that would be much greater offense to him. Although the words are the same, they are charged with a different meaning.
Another example would be the great Alfred Korzybski a scientist and lecturer in Semantics. One day, Korzybski was giving a lecture to a group of students, and he suddenly interrupted the lesson in order to retrieve a packet of biscuits, wrapped in white paper, from his briefcase. He muttered that he just had to eat something, and he asked the students on the seats in the front row, if they would also like a biscuit. A few students took a biscuit. "Nice biscuit, don't you think", said Korzybski, while he took a second one. The students were chewing vigorously. Then he tore the white paper from the biscuits, in order to reveal the original packaging. On it was a big picture of a dog's head and the words "Dog Cookies". The students looked at the package, and were shocked. Two of them wanted to throw up, put their hands in front of their mouths, and ran out of the lecture hall to the toilet. "You see, ladies and gentlemen", Korzybski remarked, "I have just demonstrated that people don't just eat food, but also words, and that the taste of the former is often outdone by the taste of the latter." Apparently his prank aimed to illustrate how some human suffering originates from the confusion or conflation of linguistic representations of reality and reality itself. (Source: R. Diekstra, Haarlemmer Dagblad, 1993, cited by L. Derks & J. Hollander, Essenties van NLP (Utrecht: Servire, 1996), p. 58).
So we all put so many labels and meanings on to our reality. It’s a realization that our words do not describe the world we live in, but rather, they determine the world we live in and what ever we perceive to be true is our projection of our reality.
Our Beliefs or values will also filter out information. We have all formulated and taken on certain beliefs and values about ourselves, others and the world. Those beliefs and values (the Good and the Bad) are what we were brought up on as a child. Passed down through our families, role models, society as a whole. This Beliefs and values we have chosen to taken on unconsciously and belief tells us what is true or not true, what is right or wrong, good or bad..
For example if you were taught the belief that ‘you’re not good enough’ then you will not do some things you want because of the fear of not achieving or fear of failing, because your not good enough. This will cause you to hold back, not take chances, not be the real you. Or if your family had lots of money but that money caused conflict and pain to the point of a break up of a marriage, you will choose to hold onto the value that that money causes greed, pain and conflict. Have a value like this will mean that you will consciously and unconsciously dislike, repel and even move away from having financial abundance. Even if we consciously decided we a want financial abundance if our unconscious mind still grasps onto the belief ‘Money causes greed, pain and conflict we will not attract it into our life.
How about health, how would our beliefs affect our health? Imagine if you had the poor values of eating unhealthy, that you must eating every on the plate, wouldn’t it make us also feel bad, feel guilty, empty or unfulfilled if we didn’t eat everything? How about the believe the Cancer caused death? Could it cause a person to give up hope and be resigned to dying? Interesting…
We also formulate our values and beliefs from Memories
Our Memories give us a basis to go on. Memories tells us what we feel is good and bad by judging and comparing our past good and bad experiences. Ultimately we base our future experiences on our past experiences. For example if you had an number of bad experiences at work; we would tend to think and associate work is a bad place to be. What if time after time our partners cheat or abuse us? Well our memories may tell us that this is what relationships are about, get used to it it how life is. And I hear it over and over with my clients ‘Why am I attracted to abusive cheating partners?’. The answer is at an unconscious level person thinks that its how relionships are and your unconscious mind continues to attract those people into your life because of the unconscious attraction!
Even to the point when those people with bad past memories and traumatic relationships finally find a nice, trusting, caring, loving guy or girl it still usually ends bad.
The reason for this is that their traumatic memories that the unconscious mind continues to hold on to causes the person to have negative beliefs and mindsets (for protective reasons), and continue to think they will cheat and abuse them, even if they logically no they wont! And guess what? If we were to hold on to the now unwarranted beliefs and perceptions of the past it may ultimately end the relationship and cause pain, which will re-affirm the belief and perception of ‘people cheat and abusive me’. It becomes an self fulfilling prophecy, unless we take responsibility and break the pattern!
Our Decisions decide on how we see the world around us. For example if we make a decisions that Women or men cheat because of a bad experience, or a decision that money is hard to come by, it will block us off from having trusting relationships or having money, due what we believe is true in reality. Our unconscious will also make decisions to have and create phobias, depression, panic attacks, dis-ease and dis-order. It just doesn’t happen from nowhere does it? They are all caused by external stress, which our body then internally manifests and creates symptoms.
What would happen if we had control to make new empowering decisions in our life?
Our Attitudes will determine how we see life. For example is the cup half full or half empty? We’ll in reality it’s neither; it’s whatever you perceive it to be.
“Whether you think can or you think can’t, your right” Henry Ford
So our attitudes will literality change the way we see our reality, if we have the attitude that the world is a bad place to live in, or that there’s no point trying in life, your absolutely right, the world is a bad place to live and there is no point in trying. But if you had the attitude that no matter what happened the world is a good place and there’s no failure only feedback of what not do, then your absolutely right too.
I wonder which one will be the most long term effective though? You see our attitudes will either motivate us or de-motivate us, give us freedom or give us fear, make us live life with abundance or live our live with little hope and unhappiness.
What would happen if you could change your filters so you see life in the way that you want it? What would you achieve, see, hear or feel right now? Would it be of value you to you to learn how to change them?
Your Perception, Your Projection
So our mind will delete, distort, or generalize the outside world in accordance to our internal filters which we have just discussed. When this happens it will cause us to make an internal representation of what we experience. But is this the true experience? We are taught that it is but now we can see that those filters change what we see. When we hold the internal representation that causes us to feel a certain way and also behave a certain way. Perceive the world is great, we feel great we act great. Percieve the world is bad, we feel bad and act errrr bad.
So what ever YOU perceive to be true, YOU project into your life. It maybe hard to swallow, but once really applied into our life it will open up the doors of freedom, the freedom of our potentiality.
Go with me for a second, imagine if you had the beliefs and attitudes that “I’m not good enough or worthy” due to your past memories, experiences and decisions of the past. This would cause you to maybe give up on life, not do things that you really wanted to achieve. You may not progress in your Career, because you belief your not good enough for a raise or promotion, the job itself, or fearful that you maybe get found out and that people will just laugh at you.
Maybe it would give unsuccessful after unsuccessful relationships due to thinking, ‘that persons too good for me and they’ll find some else who’s better than me’. I had that once!
Your health would be much lower due to the depressive larthgeic conflicted state of mind. You may perceive the world as a place which is not that nice to you and your future will not get any better because of your own projections.
Whereas imagine if you had the belief and attitudes of “I am worthy, I am good enough and I can have anything I want in Life. How would you see things differently? Maybe that you are going for a promotion and you make opportunities of progression, even go for the career of your dreams.
You would have and attract the most amazing relationships, knowing you can be with anyone you want to be with. To even have a loving scared relationship because your worthy of it. I have that now!
How about health? Well your state of mind would be positive and your body posture and health would reflect that, standing straight, talking with presence and having order, ease and harmony in the body. Your positive perceptions makes you project the reality you want live in.
But both perceptions saw the exact same physical reality. But their perceptions changed what they experienced it in an absolute polar opposite. Interesting isn’t, your perceptions are you projections?
What we see on the outside isn’t what we really see; we only see what our mind tells us. So who creates your reality? Yes you create your own reality.
So on or Seminars, NLP Practitioners including Coaching, Time Line Therapy and Hypnosis you will discover and learn how to make huge changes with someone by utilising this knowledge.
Accredited and Certified NLP, Hypnosis, Hypnotherapy, Coaching and Time Line Therapy (TM) in the UK - Joseph Clough NLP Trainings